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    July 07

    The day my wife almost died (and me finding humour anyway 'cause I'm a big jerk)

    My wife recently got very sick (they thought she was going to die – that sick) and had to spend a few days in the hospital, during which time she could not eat or drink anything – everything was through IV. And so with the Worst Husband Ever awards just around the corner, I decided to visit her with a Big Mac Combo and eat it in front of her, going “Mmmm…oh dear LORD, they got it perfect this time. Someone take a picture of this burger right now – no burger HAS ever or WILL ever top this. It won’t happen. The flavour is so delicious; no words can do it justice. You would need to take a bite to appreciate what I mean -- but because it’s so great, if you DO take a bite, I will break your cheekbones.  If this taste was a bank heist, we’d be home free in Fiji right now with millions of dollars and an airtight alibi. It’s an unnecessarily complicated analogy but this is no simple burger so it works.”

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